Not all cricket games terminate with the last ball being thrown. Other games do not die away, they remain in the memories, feelings, and even in silence. One such night, as far as Afghanistan is concerned, is yet to clear.
In the case of Rahmanullah Gurbaz, that was not a simple loss to the Pakistan game in Asia Cup. It was a situation that altered his perception of the relationship between cricket and people back home. He does not only remember the scoreboard, he remembers the feeling, that something significant has been lost.
The majority of that game was controlled by Afghanistan. It was like one of those few victories which may make a nation happy. However, after several deliveries, everything turned the other way. Two huge hits, right on the very last and all of a sudden the game was over.
What ensued in line with Gurbaz, was worse than the loss itself. The fan response, the disillusionment, the quietness — it all came in various ways. Losses are part and parcel of the game as a player, but there was a stronger emotional aspect of this loss.
He tells him even now that match seems to come back to him in flashes. Not as highlights, as questions – “What was the difference if we had done it differently? What was the difference if we had been better when we got through the game? Such are the type of thoughts that are hard to get away.
But Gurbaz made one thing clear as well this rivalry is not about hatred. On the field, rivalry is stiff, but off field, players are aware of each other. It is the actual pressure of expectations, of knowing how much of a match these viewers back home are.
Cricket is not only a sport to Afghanistan players. It is both something to be hopeful, proud of and to identify with. That is why certain losses are more painful than others are, as they are personal and not professional.
And possibly that is what makes this story unusual. It’s not about who won or lost. It is concerned with how a single game could remain in a player even after the audience has left and the stadium lights are switched off.